Sometimes I wonder if I am going to develop a hump. For as long as I can remember, my back has seemed to reflect every moment of stress I have ever experienced in my life. There are my shoulders that my ballet teacher used to bark at me to relax. There are the little aches running along each side of my spine that come out when fidgeted. There are the weird, crunchy little knots behind my shoulder blades that I only discovered a few months ago during a chair massage.
But there is also a particular spot, midway between the bottom of my left shoulder blade and my spine, that is always ominously tense. When probed, it feels somewhat fibrous. Pressing it yields the painful pleasant feeling you would expect from a stress knot, but it also seems to quiver, like it has been sitting there, tense, for years and years and will not be dislodged.
I wonder if it will just get more and more tense with every work emergency, apartment search, cat surgery, and family crisis, until the mucles are so bunched in on themselves that I will no longer be able to straighten my back. And it is under these circumstances that I wonder if I will wind up a hunchback.
It was sort of an idle thought before, but now that I am about to have a husband, and may one day have kids, I hope it doesn't happen. Who wants to be married to a hunchback? Especially a female one? And I bet the kids would get all kinds of teased for having a hunchbacked mom.
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At first, upon reading the title of this update, I though you had come to grips with your uber-sexy, come-hither woman parts. Sadly, your update is literally about a hump - a hump on your back! Amy, I will not mince words. I refuse to let you grow a hump. We will consult with the best plastic surgeons in the universe and Beverly Hills before that hump comes in. Girlfriend, don't let it happen.
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